We’ve just finished watching Dear England, the BBC version of the stage play by James Graham about Gareth Southgate’s tenure as the England men’s football team coach. Because it’s about football, a lot of people not interested in the game probably won’t watch it, which is a shame. It is excellent TV, as much about the state of a nation. But then, as any fan knows, football is often about much more than football.
For me, every major football tournament unlocks a treasure chest of memories. Some are personal snippets; some are quirks; and some gave an insight into the national psyche of other countries.
1978: The first time I couldn’t watch Scotland play
Having been beaten by Peru and drawing with Iran, Scotland had to beat Holland, the heavyweights of their group, by three clear goals to proceed. Having watched the previous two games, I couldn’t bear to watch the third, so went to the movies instead. We didn’t have a cinema in Rothesay at the time, so films were screened in the ballroom at the Glenburn Hotel (I’d take over the role as projectionist there a couple of years later). Scotland perversely beat Holland 3-2, with Archie Gemmell scoring one of the best goals in World Cup history.
1986: When I decided to stop watching Scotland games
Having recently moved into a flat in Levenshulme in inner city Manchester, I chewed my nails through the first half of the Germany v Scotland match there. But it proved so nerve-wracking I was worried I’d damage my health if I watched the second. Instead, I went to the nearest pub, The Church, where the game wasn’t being screened. It was in this pub that Andy and I spent our first date. One of the regulars there owes us the bottle of vodka he promised us if our relationship lasted any length of time. Incidentally, Germany won 2-1.
Andy immediately after England’s defeat, World Cup 1990
1990: Washed away in Sri Lanka
A few days before we were due to be married, the Scottish and English/Irish sides of our families met up in our local in Great Moor. Scotland were playing Sweden and everyone in the pub was cheering on Scotland, something that surprised some of the Scottish side of our union. A couple of weeks later, we were watching the semi-final between West Germany and England in the early hours in an attic in our hotel in Negombo as monsoon rain was literally washing parts of the hotel away. As well as us, there were twelve Germans and a Yorkshireman on a mission to find ale in Sri Lanka. When it went to penalties, the Germans insisted England would win because Peter Shilton was the better goalkeeper. Germany won the shootout 4-3.
1998: Not a chant you’d expect to hear
There were a lot of Dutch staying at our hotel, the Sea Horse, overlooking Molyvos Harbour on Lesbos. Whenever the Netherlands played, they all wore orange clothes. When their team won, many jumped into the harbour, turning the sea orange. It might sound like stereotyping, but there were a lot of Lesbians on Lesbos. The reason I mention this is that in the bar we went to watch the England match in, we were next to a table of English girls who were clearly partnered up with each other. Like all supporters, they cheered and shouted their team on. When the game went to penalties, the girls voiced their support for the English keeper. ‘Seaman. Seaman. Seaman. Seaman,’ they chanted over and over at the tops of their voices. It cracked us up.
World Cup 2010 in Tenerife
2010: A deflection from harsh reality
Holding the World Cup in South Africa was momentous. We could see that in Britain there were emotional and evocative TV programmes about the impact the tournament was having on the African country. As we’d made the decision to stick only to Spanish TV when we moved to Tenerife, we had none of that. In fact, coverage didn’t start until Spain’s first game, five days after the first ball was kicked. Not only that, the opening credits on Spanish national TV featured shots of Spanish fans tearing up newspaper headlines about the financial crisis affecting the world to use as ticker tape. The message was basically, the world is going to shite, but everything will be all right as long a Spain wins. And, of course, they did.
Watching Ronaldo with Portuguese fans in Setúbal in 2018
2018: Social media, the troublemaker
Watching Nigeria v Argentina with a visiting friend, Andy and I focussed on the game while our friend followed it by scrolling through Twitter. We all wanted Nigeria to win, but they were poor, with Argentina only being slightly better. Not so, according to our friend’s Twitter stream, where the referee’s racism was to blame for Argentina winning 2-1. Having watched the game as opposed to a social media stream, we disagreed. This led to a furious argument which degenerated into vicious name calling. Toxicity on social media was hardly new, but this was the first time it came right into our living room.
Spanish fans in Prague in 2024
Last time we watched a major football tournament in another country was Spain v England, the final of Euro 24 (which is where Dear England ends). We were in a bar in Prague among a mix of supporters from England, Spain, the Czech Republic, and various other countries. The thing that sticks in my mind is from halftime, when the musician who’d been playing prior to the match did a brief set. His rendition of Don’t Look Back in Anger by Oasis had nearly everyone in the bar singing along. The only ones who weren’t, and who looked bemused that everyone else knew the words, were all the young Spanish lads sitting around us.
