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Although events are held on the nearest weekend, 11 May is Somerset Day, the date when, in 878, Alfred the Great implored the people of Somerset to march with him against the invading Vikings.

To commemorate the day, Somerset Council posted a fun quiz on Facebook, designed to reveal whether someone was ‘proper Somerset’ or not.

There were sixteen questions, a point awarded for each answered in the affirmative.

1: You call everyone “my lover”.
Nope. Nul pwan. That’s AI phonetics in case you’re wondering.

Cheddar Gorge, Somerset

2: You know Cheddar is more than just cheese.
Andy and I have walked the gorge, bottom and top, so yes.

3: You say “where’s it to?”
No chance.

Jack in Wellies

4: You own wellies and actually use them.
I have proper wellies and also shoe wellies. I wonder if buying wellies from a shop specifically for farmers earns a bonus point. Of course, wellies aren’t exclusive to Somerset, or even rural areas as everyone in the West of Scotland knows, as illustrated by Billy Connolly’s song If it Wisnae fur Your Wellies.

5: You’ve said “proper job” at least once this week.
The only ‘Proper Job’ that passes my lips are the ales of that name, made by St Austell Brewery, which is in Cornwall by the way.

6: You know the correct way to pronounce Frome.
We considered buying a house there, so another yes.

Robert Blake, Bridgwater

7: You’d never put an “e” in Bridgwater
One of the first places we visited after moving to the South West. Another tick. Incidentally, it’s where Admiral Robert Blake comes from. I already knew about him as his ships sunk the Spanish fleet during the Battle of Santa Cruz in Tenerife in 1657, which was hailed as a great victory by the Spanish. Go figure.

8: You’ve stopped to let a herd of cows cross the road.
Cows. Sheep. Pheasants. Fox cubs. Weasels. Deer. You name it. But then, that’s also the case in many rural areas. Last time it happened, it was sheep on Bute.

Sheep jam, Bute

9: “Lush” is part of your everyday vocabulary.
Nope. Thanks to Gavin and Stacey, I always thought it was a Welsh thing.

10: You’d choose a cider over anything else at the pub.
Only every so often, so no.

Sheppy's Cider Farm

11: You know who The Wurzels are and can sing at least one of their songs.
Doesn’t everyone my age? An embarrassing yes.

12: You know Glastonbury Festival isn’t actually in Glastonbury.
As does everyone who’s been to the festival.

13: You’ve driven a tractor (or know someone who has).
Yes, and yes. I’ve technically driven a tractor as in I’ve sat in the seat and steered one while it was moving. It was on my aunt’s farm in Dumfries & Galloway and I was about 12/13 at the time; my wee legs struggled to reach the pedals. Plus, the pedals were so stiff, I couldn’t budge them when I did manage to reach them.

14: You know what squibbing is.
No idea. I’ve had to look this one up. What!? See, that made me use an exclamation mark. It is literally holding up squibs (fireworks). Everyone used to do that when I was young.

15: You’ve sang at bread in a tree while bashing a pan with a wooden spoon.
I have actually battered pots while singing at trees. When we rented a house on a farm, the farmers took us to a wassailing, a Pagan rite involving folk songs, lashings of cider, and a lot of noise in order to ensure fruit trees deliver a good harvest. The only thing is (Shh, don’t tell anyone) it was in Devon.

16: You wouldn’t want to live anywhere else.
Somerset is lovely, but the world is full of lovely places. We lived in a few. That’s a no.

Both Andy and I achieved a respectable nine points which, according to the scoring, makes us ‘Proper Somerset,’ even though some of those ticks were notched up elsewhere.

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Jack Montgomery

Jack is an author, travel writer, photographer, and a Slow Travel specialist who has been writing professionally for twenty years. Follow Jack on Facebook for information about his writing, travel tips, photographs, and tales of life in a tiny rural village in Somerset.

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Some of the items on this site won’t be to everyone’s liking, I get that. Basically this is my place, my wee studio to mess around in – experimenting with words and thoughts. I’ll be chuffed if you enjoy it, but if you don’t, c’est la vie. As a friend used to tell me “it would be a boring life if we all thought the same.”

Jack Montgomery
A wine press,
On a farm at the end of the dirt track,
The Setúbal Peninsula,
Portugal
E: jack@buzztrips.co.uk