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“I’ll call him Bobby,” Lizzie said,
Of the creature she discovered sharing her bed.
No living thing, irrespective of size,
Was allowed any access to our Lizzie’s thighs.

You see, although Lizzie was nearing thirty,
She thought that sex was just plain dirty.
As punishment she imprisoned Bobby in a biscuit tin,
A lingering demise; the reward for his sin.

With no food, Bobby’s death would be slow,
But the creature proved a formidable foe,
He could survive nuclear wars and decapitation.
He wasn’t going to be done in by mere starvation.

After thirty one days Bobby hadn’t scuttled
off this mortal coil.
His refusal to die was making Lizzie’s blood boil.
“If tomorrow this roach hasn’t left for his grave,
I’m gonna finish him off in the microwave.”

I don’t like roaches, but Bobby’s punishment was hell,
So, as Lizzie slept, I liberated him from his cell.
The roach wasted no time on thanks or goodbyes,
Instead, he crawled onto Lizzie’s face and ate out her eyes.

Based on a true story – sort of.

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Jack Montgomery

Jack is an author, travel writer, photographer, and a Slow Travel consultant who has been writing professionally for twenty years. Follow Jack on Facebook for information about his writing, travel tips, photographs, and tales of life in a tiny rural village in Somerset.

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Welcome to my Canvas

Some of the items on this site won’t be to everyone’s liking, I get that. Basically this is my place, my wee studio to mess around in – experimenting with words and thoughts. I’ll be chuffed if you enjoy it, but if you don’t, c’est la vie. As a friend used to tell me “it would be a boring life if we all thought the same.”

Jack Montgomery
A wine press,
On a farm at the end of the dirt track,
The Setúbal Peninsula,